Morality Optional

Ramblings of that which should not be

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[Awakening] [Tal] Hollow

Tal watched the watch swing by his face. Back and forth it swung, an endless movement back and forth. The hands frozen, stuck forever in place.


Broken. Not just the watch, that's how he felt inside. Always broken. No matter how good a face he put to the world, he never managed to hide all the cracks. They'd noticed, but then he hadn't been hiding them well.


A phantom tick echoed through his mind. It came and it went - he hadn't told Ishtar; didn't want to worry her. It wasn't magic, it was just broken echoes in his mind.


August and Pandora had both been worried about him. He'd found the energy to get up and be bouncy; to be invigorated and up for fun, but it was all a show. The reality felt hollow to him.


He went out to clubs to keep up appearances. It was rare he picked anyone up these days. There was little enjoyment even in raw, unbridled sex these days. The booze didn't make him feel better either, but it catered to the hollow feeling building inside him.


He should talk to Ish about it; needed to talk to Ish about it. He couldn't hide it from her. But he was afraid. Afraid of how she'd react; of her pity; her compassion. He desperately wanted comfort, company, but couldn't bring himself to seek it out from the person closest to him.


He looked at the knife in his hand, flicked it up into the air, let it flash between his fingers while he swigged from the bottle in his other hand. Grimacing, he held the sharp blade to his arm, pressing the point into his flesh. He watched the blood well up and considered his next move. One quick movement was all it would take. The knife flashed downwards.


Cross-posted to writing_shadows
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